Dating (on a Budget) As a Married Couple with Littles

As new parents, my husband and I are quickly learning how rare, how expensive–and yet how essential!–it has become for us to spend time together as a couple. We have tried to enjoy “quality time” together with the kids. But if our two-year-old isn’t insisting that she needs to go potty during dinner, she is bringing us books to read or asking an endless string of questions beginning with “Why, Daddy?” And during meals, our nine-month-old takes center stage, either gagging on the latest vegetable I’m introducing or reaching for my plate and doing Neanderthal grunts, as if to ask why I am offering him strained puree in lieu of the real food the rest of us are eating. As important as this family time is, quality time as a couple becomes even more critical with children!

If friends or family offer to babysit, take them up on it! Hiring babysitters is incredibly expensive and can easily double the cost of your date!

We are blessed to have nearby grandparents and a teenage aunt (who loves spending time with our kids!). Although they all lead very busy lives, they have helped with the kids more times than I can count–particularly last summer while I was on bedrest and during my son’s NICU stay.

We are also blessed to have an engaged couple in our church who has offered to babysit our kids once a month, so we can go out on a “real” date. Such a thoughtful idea! and so giving of their most precious commodity–time! (We think they may be experimenting on our children, before they have their own!–but we have taken them up on that offer the past two months.)

Save restaurant gift cards for dates and use coupons whenever possible.

For our January date, we used a gift card we were given for Christmas (another wonderful gift idea!). The couple that babysits for us also brought us a handful of coupons for local restaurants. (They had one of those “buy-one-get-one-free” coupon books and weren’t going to use all the coupons.) Again–incredibly thoughtful!! and so practically helpful, when we are trying not to spend money frivolously, but we still need that time together as a couple. Those dates have felt like our first “real” dates, since pre-kids!

For more deals, go to Dealnews.com and search “restaurants.” Restaurants.com often offers discounted gift certificates–right now they are cutting 65% off any gift certificate with the coupon code “SAVINGS”.

Find time in both of your schedules for “mini-dates” now and then.

A date is primarily to spend time together, enjoy each other’s company, or talk through things with just the two of you–no babies crying or toddlers placing toys that sing on your lap. “Mini-dates” don’t have to include dinner or cost money.

Sometimes we purposefully spend time together after the kids are in bed. Maybe eating a piece of cheesecake or drinking a smoothie. Maybe watching something together on TV or just chatting about our day.

My favorite mini-date is an early-morning cup of coffee at home! My husband is a morning person, and by the time he gets home from work, we eat dinner and put the kids to bed, he is really winding down. It’s rare for us to have a profitable, serious conversation (about finances, things that need to be done around the house, rearing the kids, etc.) late in the evening. He also has an unusual work schedule–some days he goes in at 7 a.m., other days he goes in at 11 a.m. Looking at our schedules, we realized that the kids stay in bed until about 7 a.m. (whether they are awake or not), so we could take some of those mornings when he goes to work late, brew a pot of coffee around 6 or 6:30 a.m. and sit and talk, even if it’s just for a few minutes before the kids wake up.

Be purposeful about dating your spouse!

I’m a new mom, but older women I respect keep reminding me that in 20 or 30 years, the kids will be gone, and it will once again be just my dear hubby and me. So I want to make the most important relationship in my life a top priority!

Hop on over to The Happy Housewife and read “Date Nights at Home,” for more ideas on how to have a frugal yet special date at home!