“When Winter Winds Blow. . .”

Despite the title of my post, there is actually good news:

Monday’s appointment with the nurse practitioner showed no changes since my hospital visit and the terbutaline shot.

The NP suggested I might come off all meds and bedrest at week 36, but said it would be up to the Ob who was consulting with me at the time. (Last week’s Ob said I could come off meds and bedrest at week 37.)

And I now have weekly appointments scheduled every Monday morning through the end of February (they decided not to schedule one for the week of my due date just yet), and I can’t help wondering how many of those appointments I’ll be keeping. I never imagined I would make it this far. . .

The NP seemed very optimistic that our baby will be full-term. In fact, she started a discussion of going ahead and scheduling a repeat c-section “in case you go overdue.”

Overdue? This was my first appointment with the nurse practitioner. Had she looked at my chart? Did she know my son was born at 32 weeks and I’ve been contracting for over two months now with this pregnancy? And all the talk has been how to prevent preterm labor?

At first, my thoughts were, “Yeah, that won’t be necessary.” But then I thought of my friend Christina–hospitalized on bedrest from weeks 28 – 32, home on bedrest till week 37, then passing her due date, while dilated 6 cm for two weeks!  And I realized: anything is possible.

Which left me discouraged, just thinking of months of contractions, months of bedrest and medications, culminating in an overdue child delivered by the dreaded repeat c-section, which would rule out future possibility of vaginal deliveries. . .

Daniel had dropped me off, and during my appointment he took the kids to Dunkin Donuts, where Mara asked if it was her birthday since she was getting a frosted pink donut with sprinkles. We drove home in the torrential rains that we’ve had since last night. It was hard to even see out the windshield. When we got home, we went to get lunch for the kids and found the roof over our kitchen leaking in four spots. . .

I want to rejoice in the answers to prayer: Our Little Boo has made it to 34 weeks. Of those 34 weeks, I have been hospitalized on bedrest only four days this time–the rest of the time I have been able to be home with my husband and my kids. At this point, it’s looking very likely that the baby will make it to “full-term” (37-40 weeks) or if not, she will at least be far enough along that any hospital stay should be minimal and chances are good she will not need the apnea/brady monitor like Micah did. I want to be filled with joy and gratitude.

But two strong “bedrest battles” are the those of discontent and discouragement. For the first few weeks since mid-December, it was just surviving each day and then breathing a huge sigh of relief. Making it through the intense contraction hours of 1-3 AM, and waking up in the morning and saying to Daniel, “Well, we made it through another night without a trip to Labor and Delivery triage.”

Then as the tide turned, we began to realize that we were likely going to make it, and the challenge of this pregnancy would be enduring a couple months of bedrest while trying to care for a young family.

In light of all the trials that so many people face, it is truly petty to complain about bedrest. But I’m just being real: it’s a daily struggle to be content and not to be discouraged. Some days more than others.

I’ve been blessed by Sovereign Grace’s music ministry, and recently spent a lot of time listening to  “Come, Weary Saints” on my MP3 player. (Mara calls it “umbrella music” because there is an umbrella on the CD cover.) Today I wanted to share the lyrics to “As Long As You Are Glorified.” Maybe there is someone out there like me, who will be encouraged by this meditation.

Words and Music by Mark Altrogge.
© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI). Sovereign Grace Music, a division of Sovereign Grace Ministries.
From Come Weary Saints. All rights reserved.