My American Dream

Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m cut out for life with toddlers. Especially when the toddlers randomly ask questions like, “What is the ‘American dream’?”

How would you explain that (on a three-year-old level)?

So I begin rambling, hoping something I say will make sense to her on some level and hoping that whatever makes sense to her actually relates to the American Dream.

“Well, first of all, in America you get to choose. You can decide if you want to be a doctor . . .  or a trashman . . . or work on computers . . .” I’m trying to think of professions she can relate to here.

“In some countries you don’t get to choose,” I told her. “They just tell you what you’re going to be. They will say, ‘Mara, you’re going to be a trashman.'” I was hoping that was not the profession she had in mind. “But!–in America, you get to choose. . . ”

Although that was not the end of my American Dream explanation, I stopped, because all of sudden, her whole face lit up.

I thought for sure she had decided to be a princess–or Emily Elizabeth–or Tosta or Donna Eiseland (her imaginary sisters).

But she surprised me: “I get to choose being a mother!” she exclaimed. “I just . . . want to be a mother.”

My heart melted. I wanted to capture for all time this memory: the softness of her sparkling eyes at that moment, her voice full of meaning, and her smile–the sweetest smile. Ever.

I was about to cry, but I held the tears back. (She’s asked me to explain the “happy tears” concept before too.–She doesn’t get it.)

So I just kissed her on the forehead and said, “You made my day, Mara!”

Then she exclaimed again, “Tomorrow I’m going to make Daddy’s day if I tell him that I want to be a mother. I would just LOVE to be a mother! . . . Annnd if you choose to be a trashman? that will make MY day! . . . ” This left me wondering what on earth she thought of my mothering skills, until she changed her mind: “I would like Micah to be the trashman. Micah, do you choose to be a trashman?”

Thankfully he didn’t. He just stared at her blankly, and characteristicly Mara continued, “I would love to be a food-er mom!”

“What’s a food-er mom?” I asked.

Youuuu know! I would give us food.” She looked a little sheepish because I was laughing.I would serve us food for dinner! I would be a server-mom!” she kept trying to explain.

By this point I was laughing pretty hard.

————

I get to choose being a mother! I just want to be a mother.”

Me too, sweetheart. Me too.

And in that moment, I realized–I’m living my American Dream.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

The adhesive quality of peanut butter has just “registered” in my son’s brain. He never eats peanut butter and jelly without coating himself in peanut butter. But this time he is holding his arm straight out, having stuck the peanut-butter-side of his sandwich to his arm, and observing–with an incredulous smile–that it doesn’t fall off. He’s saying “Peanut Butter! Peanut Butter!” with great delight.

Moments to Remember

Some moments are not worth an entire post. But I still want to remember. Occasionally I’ll write these posts and jot down little random memories. . .

  • My sweet Carissa “talking up a storm” when Daddy came home from the Phillies game Monday night! All you have to do is glance her way. If she catches your eye, she’ll give you the biggest smile and then chatter away! I guess both of our girls are going to be talkers! Micah did not coo or “talk” nearly as much as the girls! . . . Wow, it took me back in time to a different life, back in South Carolina, when we had another little girl (Mara) about the same age. Suddenly I was remembering what it was like to leave the workforce after about a decade of work. I was thinking of Daniel’s job there and the crazy schedule he had then, mornings together as a family of three at Starbucks, our old church (1999-2007), southern spring (which starts at the end of February) . . .
  • The news helicopters were hovering for a couple hours because a bus lost its brakes, while taking our exit off the interstate less than a mile away. The bus flipped on its side, and the back of the bus was torn off. Over a dozen people were injured, but thankfully no one was killed.
  • Micah has started walking out the front door into the entryway saying, “Work! Work!” He pretends he’s leaving for work. Wow, he copies everything Daniel does. He wants to wear sunglasses all the time because “Dadda. Lah-lah [glasses].”
  • I was pushing Mara & Micah in the double stroller down Allegheny with Carissa in the Baby Bjorn, as we walked back from the park. Mara was spontaneously singing, “Soli Deo Gloria! To God alone be glorrry! To God alone be glorrry! Singing Soli Deo Gloria! To God alone be glory! To God alone be glory in Jesus Christ!” I realize that she’s too young to really understand what she’s singing. But what struck me was the sad realization of how very out-of-place it seemed to hear that song right there. That God’s glory (or songs about it) seem so very far from anyone’s mind. I wondered if anyone had ever sung praise to God there or even contemplated His glory. And I was again reminded: that’s why we chose to live here.
  • From a John Piper message I listened to this week: “Indestructible joy breaks in from the future as a sustaining power in the present. If it’s not working that way for you, you’ve got some deep heart-work to do. Get on your knees this afternoon. . . ” Thank God for that sustaining power! and the indestructible joy for the future!
  • Carissa had her two-month checkup. She’s 12 lbs. 6 ozs. (75-80% for weight); 24 inches long (95% for height); and her head is 15-3/4 inches (95%). Finally we have a child whose head size is proportional to the rest of her body! (And maybe a taller child?! I would be so happy for her! I always wanted to be tall! . . . We shall see!)
  • The kids are loving to use the chalkboard/white erase board from IKEA. In fact, on Tuesday Mara started writing “A”s and “H”s on the chalkboard.
  • While Daniel was at the Phillies game, I finally de-cluttered the table in the living room and took it down to the basement for Daniel to use as a computer desk. I also got the hutch in the dining room de-cluttered. I am soo behind on my house since bedrest, baby, recovery, my sister’s wedding. . . Now I’m working furiously on it! and the progress is definitely encouraging.
  • I made a meal with a box of Suddenly Salad that was on sale for $1. I added leftover ham (chopped); a carrot (grated); a tomato (diced); 1/2 cucumber (chopped); some grated cheese and ranch dressing. And Daniel said it was good. 🙂
  • Arlen Specter was defeated in the Democratic primary this week. And while I’m trying to avoid political commentary on this blog, that was certainly newsworthy.
  • I talked to my sister on the phone today for the first time since her wedding. They’re settling in to their new apartment in Alexandria, Virginia. We’re hoping they will visit often, since you never know (in the military) how long you will be stationed somewhere or when or if you will ever be that close to family again.