I Want to Remember. . .

I want to remember all of it.

I want to remember Carissa’s delight-filled voice as she jumped into my bed, early one morning this week, exclaiming, “You know what I just love?!–I just love my family!!!!!”

I want to remember Micah exclaiming “Yesterday was the best day ever! . . .  because we got to go to church and go to lunch at the pastor’s house and go outside and play in the snow.”

I want to remember Mara asking, “Mom? Can we read the book that has the title of what I’m going to be later this week?” (Why, of course, we’ll read Little Women–since you’re almost seven now!)

I want to remember reading Two Little Trains with Micah perched on the arm of my rocker and David snuggled in a blanket on my lap.

I want to always see Micah’s smiles watching the trains go west and hear David’s “Read ‘gain? Read ‘gain?” as I close the book. I want to remember reading. . . again.

I want to remember Goodnight Moon. Micah still likes that one.

I want to remember Big Red Barn. I will always remember Big Red Barn. It’s been all of our kids’ favorite book at some point, and it’s David’s favorite right now.

I want to remember David while I sang: his big brown eyes drooping shut as his thick auburn eyelashes rest on his chubby toddler cheeks. I want to remember his tousled mess of red hair, glistening golden where the light fell. I want to remember how he sucks his first two fingers, until at last he is fast asleep and the fingers slip out and down to his chest, startling him awake again, but only for an instant as his eyelids droop in a deep slumber.

I want to remember how his hands always fall above his head when I lay him down in his big boy bed. . . and kiss those rosy cheeks one more time. . .

I want to remember how he wakes up from his naps. He wakes up crying, “Mic’s gone! Mic’s gone!” because he gets his naps and nighttime mixed up. And he wonders what happened to the brother he loves so much.

I want to remember this little dare-devil. I’m forever saying, “David, you’re going to fall!” and he always replies, “Me being real-real careful!”

I want to remember how he wakes up in the middle of the night, saying, “All done my nap!” and how I talk to him at the changing table: “You’re a strong boy!” and he replies, “Me POWERful!”

I want to remember Micah laughing, “I can’t believe how many words he knows!” and David agreeing: “Huh! Me LEARNing!”

I want to remember his knock-knock joke–as old as it is now!–It was hilarious the first time. “Kno’- kno’!” “Who’s there?” “Balloon!” “Balloon who?” “POP!!” (Not bad for a two-year-old!)

I want to remember because we’re going away for our tenth anniversary. And as excited as I am, and as long as it’s been in coming, there’s a part of me that will miss my sweet kiddos the whole time. Because “You know what I just love?!–I just love my family!!!!!”