I miscarried on July 3 and had a D&E yesterday to complete things, so I’m supposed to be resting, not blogging.
But what a perfect day to try out “Five Minute Friday.”
The first lesson I’m learning is how the mundane is truly the great. My heart is grieving the loss of this little one. I will never rock this child to sleep or read her board books or feed her baby cereal or take her to t-ball or teach her about my loving heavenly Father. Our tendency is to think of all these things as mundane, the things we do every day, every minute–until we are confronted with the opposite possibilities–of all those opportunities being taken away. And then we realize the things we often grumble about are the things we treasure the most.
The second lesson is having “open hands.” When we learned that a miscarriage was inevitable, at 9-1/2 weeks, my husband and I prayed that God would give us “open hands.” That we would not “cling” so tightly to the good gifts He has given, that His power and glory could not be seen by us, in us, and through us. Our children are His, gifts on loan from God. Their days are numbered, by Him. He has a special plan.
A third lesson: So thankful for my husband these past two weeks! “For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health . . .” What a sweet and beautiful mystery that, in looking to Christ together, the “for worse,” “for poorer,” “in sickness” times are sometimes the most precious!
And finally, a fourth lesson, His promises are true. God is always good. God is always loving. God truly walks beside us in the fire
My five minutes are up. So I’m going back to rest. . . More another day!
So very, very sorry for your loss. Saying a prayer for you.
Oh Becky…what can be said?
The exhale of reading the sentences you bravely type. The truth you are unafraid in speaking. The faith you answer back into the darkness. That is beauty. Stunning and breathtaking in a generous way.
Loss is ugly. Slicing deep. Stunning still in an unforgiving way.
But He is the author of light. Of taking ashes and breathing lovely back into existence.
I have no perfect words. But I have a grieving heart for your pain. A firm, deep appreciation for your heart, the words you let leak here. I have prayers and hands and knees. I will use them today for you.
I am thankful I came here today. I am thankful you went to Lisa-Jo’s invitation and poured forth a piece of yourself. Letting the Body in.
I love you! Hugs!!!!
Beautiful truths! ” And then we realize the things we often grumble about are the things we treasure the most.” BTW, much better than I could say in 5 minutes! 🙂 Love you, sweetheart.
You are a blessing to so many, Becky.
I am so, so, so, sorry for your loss. Thank you for your openness and beautiful words. Keep well…