Today is THE DAY

No, dear, if you’re reading this, I’m not in labor. . . Just reminiscing up here in my bed!

Today is the day gestationally (in my last pregnancy) that Micah was born.

I told Daniel this last night, and he found it disturbing: “Really?! YIKES!”

I thought it was encouraging–a positive thing! I mean, I’m hardly even dilated this time (every woman who has had  a baby before is currently 1 cm, right?). And while I am contracting, on progesterone, procardia and bedrest, at least I’m not in the hospital like I was before Micah was born.

I’m not thinking our little girl will make it to her due date (March 6th), but every day from this point on is an “extra” day that she’s growing and developing in the womb, where she belongs right now, instead of in the NICU.

So I have to say, today was a big milestone for Little Boo and me!

Family Updates

  • From Mara, walking down the stairs this morning: “Daaaaaaddy! Your daughter wet her bed!” This, in reference to herself.
  • From Micah, after eating pancakes for breakfast: “Allll duh [done]!” proclaimed proudly with the syrupy paper plate plastered to the top of his head.
  • From Daniel, while making cookies with the kids after dinner: “Micah managed to drool in the cookie dough.” Want some?

Just another day in the life of a family with two toddlers and a mom on bedrest.

Random Mara Quotes

Even though I haven’t really had time for blogging during the past two months, I jotted down a few Mara quotes now and then. Quotes I wanted to remember. Here are a few:

After we picked up my sister (“Aunt Mary”) at the airport, Mara burst into the house with more enthusiasm than I can describe, exclaiming, “Daddy! Do you want to meet Mommy’s niece?!?!?!?!”

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I’m learning that she picks up on a lot of the things I say, and repeats them.  One day, while my family was here, Mara told me: “Today my day is horrible! My house is not cleaned yet. It is horrible!”

Yikes. Maybe I should be re-defining “horrible” for my daughter.

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Mara’s toys were spread all over the floor, and as she tried to get through, she said, “Excuse me, beads. Can you move along?”

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Recently Micah has been blowing “raspberries” all the time. For some reason, this really irritates Mara. (She calls it “beeping,” as in ‘Micah keeps beeping at me!’) So while she was on the phone with Daddy (who was at work), she said, “I don’t want Micah to be spitting at me and beeping at me. Micah needs to get a spanking. [There was silence on her father’s end of the line]. . . Daddy? . . .  ANSWER me!”

Later in the same conversation: “We are sinners! We have sin in our hearts. . . I am reading the Bible, so don’t talk. . . We need GRACE! Come ONNNNNN!!!!!”

Wow.

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My dear friend Stephanie gave Mara her book A Pocket for Corduroy. In the front cover she inscribed, “To Mara Joy. From Kathryn Kuchle [Stephanie’s daughter, who is a year older than Mara].” Whenever we read, A Pocket for Corduroy, I read the inscription.

Yesterday morning Mara was going around saying “I’mmmm Kathryn Kuchle! . . . Remember the nice lady that gave me Corduroy?” So I told her that actually Kathryn was a little three-year-old girl, almost the same age as Mara.

Ironically, that day’s mail brought the Kuchles’ Christmas picture! So I showed her Kathryn Kuchle and her little brother Tyler. Mara carried the picture around saying, “Look! It’s Kathryn Kuchle!–She’s cuter than me.” And then she would ask random questions, like, “How do you spell ‘Kathryn Kuchle’?”

Then a couple weeks later, I overheard Mara telling Daniel, “See this chair? It’s from Tyler’s mother. And not Kathryn Kuchle’s brother Tyler’s mother. It’s from the Tyler down the street with the father named Bo.” . . . I just had to laugh, because she doesn’t really even know my friend Stephanie, or her daughter Kathryn, but she still includes them in conversation regularly (even more than I do!). 🙂

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Also, this should be obvious, but never tell a toddler about a surprise.

Mara to Aunt Mary: “It’s your birthday! And we have a surprise for you! And we’re going to have CUPcakes!” [It actually wasn’t her birthday. We were just going to celebrate while my family was together. So much for the element of “surprise.”]

Mara thought for a minute. She is going to be three on Christmas Day, and she equates “birthday” with “Christmas.” So she asked the logical question, since Aunt Mary is clearly old than three: “Will you be four at your birthday on Christmas?”

Is The Tide Turning?

I have just a few minutes for a quick post tonight after quite the busy day. (And if you’re wondering ‘how can a day be “busy” on bedrest?’ well, that’s a post for another time! Sometimes I think it is three times as busy on bedrest as it is not on bedrest. It’s just a very different kind of busy. And it’s definitely three times more complicated!)

Anyway. . . my 32-week appointment!

Amazingly, I am still 1 cm!  I really couldn’t believe it.

Over the past few weeks, the idea at every appointment (or triage visit or hospital stay) has been ‘let’s see how we can manage these contractions and try to keep the baby inside as many more days as we can.’  Today the tone of my appointment was completely different. We’re not talking days now, we’re talking weeks. In fact, Dr. Z told me she was optimistic that if my “cervix continues to behave, maybe we can make it to week 37!”

This is the first talk of “week 37.” This is the first time the obs have discussed coming off bedrest, progesterone or procardia.

This is a stage I never experienced with Micah. With Micah’s pregnancy, we knew he would be premature, it was just a matter of how premature. I never asked about coming off bedrest or procardia–I clung to them as the only hope for keeping my child inside–growing stronger and staying healthy.

So mentally, this is a shift for me.

Someone from church wrote to ask what help we could use with meals and childcare, so Daniel asked me to write up a schedule for the next four weeks (Four weeks!) of who is helping which days and determine when we have gaps.

Today we found out that Daniel’s boss granted permission to work from home two days/week, which will be a huge blessing. But obviously he will technically still be working, right? so it would still be best for me to have some help for a couple of hours on those days.

We’re working the schedule out.

I told my Due Date Buddy Donna that we should team up and write a book: On Surviving Bedrest. 🙂 Maybe in four weeks I’ll have this thing figured out. Ha!

That said, I have to be careful. I’m feeling so encouraged, but I need to remember how much worse my contractions were before bedrest and procardia. There are no guarantees.

But I am starting to imagine what it’s like to room with your baby after she’s born, to nurse her right away, to bring her home when you leave the hospital. . . it all seems a bit too good to be true! I think I may need to pack a diaper bag and have the carseat ready!

For now, I’m just taking one day at a time. On bedrest. For the Little Boo.

But I’m asking myself, is the tide turning? Is this the week where we begin to see a marked difference between my pregnancy with Little Q (Micah) and my pregnancy with Little Boo? . . . only time will tell.

Little Boo Has Made It to 32 Weeks

I’m so excited that we’ve made it to 32 weeks!

There are times when bedrest is very difficult, but having a child in the NICU (especially with other toddlers at home) is far beyond the “difficulty” that is bedrest. So I am trying to be thankful for bedrest.

From now through January 22, I’m “holding my breath” because Dr. Smith, our perinatologist, told us that most “repeat” preemie births occur within one week on either side of the first preemie birth. So the chances are, if I were to deliver Little Boo prematurely, she would come between now and January 22.

January 15th will be an exciting milestone: the “WooHOO!-She-Made-It-Further-Than-Micah” Day. So in some ways, this is a big week for us.

My next appointment is Monday. By that time (in Micah’s pregnancy), I was 70% effaced, and 3 cm dilated. So I’m very very curious whether Dr. Z will notice any cervical changes tomorrow.

I have to admit a bit of nervousness, though, because I was hospitalized during that week of Micah’s pregnancy. And while I will take my overnight bag, just in case, I really really really hope I will just be coming back home again–on bedrest.

Isn’t it weird how your perspective can change with the circumstances? A month ago, I was dreading bedrest. Now I’m praying that’s all it will be!