Well, Mara has finally learned to say “no.” Thankfully, she has yet to use it in a defiant manner! That will go badly for her, as Daniel says.
But she uses it freely otherwise.
“Are you ready for a nap?”
“No.”
“Mara, do you want to brush your teeth?”
“No.”
“Are you going to share your snack with Daddy?”
“No.”
Well, there you have it, dear. . . You did ask!
Tonight was the first time Micah didn’t cry at all for his bath! He used to cry as soon as his feet touched the water. Then he got over that, and would start crying when I poured water on his head to wash what little hair he has. And, until tonight, he always cried (at some point) during the transfer-to-baby-bath-towel-and-getting-dressed process. Until tonight.
I could hardly believe it. He almost seemed to enjoy his bath! He is growing up.
Before he went to bed, I was nursing him and he kept looking up and catching my eye with the biggest smile his little face could contain! I could hardly stop laughing, which meant he could hardly stop smiling. . . so of course he couldn’t concentrate on nursing. It was the sweetest moment!
I hugged him and told him he was the little boy I’d always wanted. I told him that I pray that he will grow up to love God with all of his heart and I pray that we will be great friends some day when he is all grown up. I told him I’m sorry for the things I’m sure I will do that may drive wedges between us, and I told him to know through it all how deeply he is loved–by God, and by Mom & Dad.
I had to look away, or he would never stop smiling, and he would never finish nursing!? . . . My precious little Micah-man. . .
We went to Mercer’s Cafe the other day. We love Mercer’s! I will always remember it, especially, since it’s the place we went to celebrate on Sunday, November 18, 2007, the day we found out I was pregnant with Micah. It’s a great little local breakfast cafe, one we both enjoy! Daniel loves the coffee. I love the atmosphere.
This particular day was not special. Just wanted a good breakfast without having to cook, since our house is still in boxes and we have two small children.
We walked in–Mara, first, as a guy held the door for her. She was really booking it! She knew where she was going, and the guy holding the door gave her this look of surprise as she ran past him. We barely sat down, when a waitress walked by. Mara whirled around in her seat and shouted, “WAH-wah!” [water]
We looked at our 20-month-old daughter in amazement, and I said, “Mara, say ‘please’!”
I guess she always hears us order water from the waitress after we sit down, and she didn’t see any need to wait around!
Of course, she wanted to pray after we ordered our food and it didn’t come right away! She holds out both hands (we hold hands when we pray), then bows her head and says “Oy, oy, oy, oy” in a hushed tone.
Then she’s making friends with the cops that are sitting next to us, and the two older ladies behind us.? There’s not a shy bone in her body!
. . .
Tonight was so incredibly special. I don’t even think I can express it adequately. It was the first time Mara seemed to do something for something else, at her own expense.
The glider rocker is in Micah’s room, so before Mara goes to bed, I take her in Micah’s room to rock her and sing to her. Unfortunately, Micah cries (SCREAMS!) for several hours–usually right at Mara’s bedtime. So while I’m singing soft bedtime songs, Micah is screaming at the top of his lungs in the cradle next to us. Mara was tired. She was leaning on my chest, sucking her thumb. But after one or two songs, she sat straight up and said intently, “Min-uh! Min-uh!” [Micah! Micah!]
Then “THL-loor! THL-loor!” [Floor is one of her new favorite words, and this time she was asking to get down on the floor.]
So I let her get down and she stood by the cradle, saying, “Min-uh! Min-uh! Min-uh, nur!” [nurse] She was very intense, nodding her head and squinting her eyes, as if desperately hoping I would understand. She wanted to get down on the “thloor” so Micah could nurse. She knows that makes him quiet . . . My heart really melted, and I just looked at her for a couple of seconds. I couldn’t believe she was sacrificing her own time with me, for Micah! Then she started making the “fish” face, demonstrating “nursing,” in case I didn’t understand!
I picked up Micah, sat back down, and let him nurse, and that calmed him down right away.
“Min-uh! Min-uh! Nur!” She beamed a huge smile . . . I want to always remember.
It is Wednesday. I have been here since Sunday now. I never quite know what’s happening with me from day to day. I talk to one resident and hear one thing, then an hour later the plan is completely changed. I could go crazy if I think about it too much. I think God is trying (again!) to teach me to give him my plans and my control on my life, and just follow His will moment by moment.
This morning, we had another ultrasound of Little Q around 10:15. He looks great! They say he’s measuring around 4 lbs., 6 ozs. (That sounds high!!! I take all those estimates with a grain of salt, knowing that friends have had ultrasounds “measuring” 2-3 lbs off the actual birthweight!!) But I’m encouraged–he will probably not be too terribly tiny! 🙂
She measured and measured as they always do, and said most of his measurements are at the end of week 31, but Little Q’s head is measuring at 33 weeks. I was not surprised. Mara’s head has always been in the 95th percentile.
The ultrasound tech gave me a little false hope at first, saying it looked like he might have turned. I was very disappointed, but the hope lasted only a few seconds, so I recovered quickly from my disappointment. 🙂 Unfortunately, his feet are still down and his head is still on the left hip and his rear end still on the right hip. (This is the “oblique” position, from which it is physically impossible to deliver vaginally.) We are praying he will turn and we can avoid a C-section.
Because of his position, she couldn’t get a good look at the face. But she gave me another picture of our Little Q. . . I keep wondering how soon we will meet him and how the timing of when we meet him will affect his little life. Then I wonder what we will name him! There are SOO many questions!
This week I realized so keenly that I have the opportunity in my own home to tell someone about Jesus and His amazing love–to tell someone who has never ever heard!
Mara was sitting in her high chair eating crackers while I fixed dinner. She had her New Testament for Little Eyes book there on her tray. She loves to point to pictures and say, “‘Dis?” which (best I can decipher) means, “What’s this?” She was pointing at the picture on the cover.
“That’s Jesus,” I told her. She looked at me a little quizzically, as if trying to understand, and then looked back down at the picture for a minute.
After a little thought, she pointed at the children. “‘Dis?” she asked again.
“Those are children, sitting on Jesus’ lap,” I explained. “Jesus loves children.–Did you know Jesus loves you too?”
Her finger was still on the picture, and she looked up, trying so hard to understand. Then it hit me. She doesn’t know! She’s never heard! But I get the blessing, the awesome privilege, the incredible opportunity, the wonderful responsibility to tell her!!!!!
I’ve always known that in my mind. I’ve prayed for her to know God, since before we ever found out I was pregnant with her. But this week, the reality of this truth really hit home to me, in a way I wasn’t prepared for. Pray for me, that I would be a consistent testimony in my life and words, and pray with me that little Mara would know God and give her life for Him!