Category: Becky’s Thoughts

My American Dream

Posted on by Becky

Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m cut out for life with toddlers. Especially when the toddlers randomly ask questions like, “What is the ‘American dream’?”

How would you explain that (on a three-year-old level)?

So I begin rambling, hoping something I say will make sense to her on some level and hoping that whatever makes sense to her actually relates to the American Dream.

“Well, first of all, in America you get to choose. You can decide if you want to be a doctor . . .  or a trashman . . . or work on computers . . .” I’m trying to think of professions she can relate to here.

“In some countries you don’t get to choose,” I told her. “They just tell you what you’re going to be. They will say, ‘Mara, you’re going to be a trashman.'” I was hoping that was not the profession she had in mind. “But!–in America, you get to choose. . . ”

Although that was not the end of my American Dream explanation, I stopped, because all of sudden, her whole face lit up.

I thought for sure she had decided to be a princess–or Emily Elizabeth–or Tosta or Donna Eiseland (her imaginary sisters).

But she surprised me: “I get to choose being a mother!” she exclaimed. “I just . . . want to be a mother.”

My heart melted. I wanted to capture for all time this memory: the softness of her sparkling eyes at that moment, her voice full of meaning, and her smile–the sweetest smile. Ever.

I was about to cry, but I held the tears back. (She’s asked me to explain the “happy tears” concept before too.–She doesn’t get it.)

So I just kissed her on the forehead and said, “You made my day, Mara!”

Then she exclaimed again, “Tomorrow I’m going to make Daddy’s day if I tell him that I want to be a mother. I would just LOVE to be a mother! . . . Annnd if you choose to be a trashman? that will make MY day! . . . ” This left me wondering what on earth she thought of my mothering skills, until she changed her mind: “I would like Micah to be the trashman. Micah, do you choose to be a trashman?”

Thankfully he didn’t. He just stared at her blankly, and characteristicly Mara continued, “I would love to be a food-er mom!”

“What’s a food-er mom?” I asked.

“Youuuu know! I would give us food.” She looked a little sheepish because I was laughing. “I would serve us food for dinner! I would be a server-mom!” she kept trying to explain.

By this point I was laughing pretty hard.

————

“I get to choose being a mother! I just want to be a mother.”

Me too, sweetheart. Me too.

And in that moment, I realized–I’m living my American Dream.

Doing “Fun Things” With Mommy on Bedrest

Posted on by Becky

For Works for Me Wednesday, here are a few ideas from my current experience involving toddlers & bedrest (What a challenging combo, let me tell you!). I’ve listed some ideas that have worked with my three-year-old daughter–and a plea for help with my 19-month-old son! Please comment–for my sanity and his!

Having a three-year-old daughter with you when you’re on bedrest isn’t all that bad. (It’s the 19-month-old boy I struggle to keep entertained.)

My daughter is forever running into my bedroom, saying, “Mommy, can we do some fun things together?”

And by “fun things” she is referencing the stack of kids’ stuff next to my bed. In that stack I keep things Mara and I can do together while I lay in my bed. (Unfortunately, I have found nothing that Micah and I can do together to add to the stack.)

We have:

  • A feltboard: Aunt Darla gave Mara and Micah FeltTales Busy Day at the Farm Story Board for Christmas. This is a great toy for preschoolers! Mara calls it her “cardboard,” and every day she asks, “Can we play with the cardboard?” She pretends the kids are going apple picking; milking the cow (then feeding the cow its own milk out of the pail!); planting the garden; playing with the other farm animals . . . I think it would be a great “travel” toy too. We may bring it next summer when we drive to Florida for my sister’s wedding.
  • Candyland: I got this game at the thrift store for 99 cents, in great condition, and it was one of Mara’s Christmas presents too. She is just barely old enough to play this game. It took her awhile to understand that you have to take the top card off the pile (you can’t go through the pile and pick) and that your goal is getting to the Candy Castle–not drawing cards with candy on them, regardless of how far they set you back.
  • Memory: Another Christmas present Mara received, conveniently packaged as a hard plastic “book” that can be stored on a shelf. She does pretty well with this game. (I think all kids have to be reminded they can only turn over two cards on their turn, even if they suddenly remember where the match is.) I’m considering dividing the game in half until she’s a little older, because with 72 cards, the game takes a long time and she’s usually yawning halfway through. We have yet to complete an entire game.
  • Little Bear and Dress-up Clothes: She was given a little bear with three outfits: cheerleader, cowboy and angel. She loves dressing and undressing the bear, but she can’t do it all by herself, so it’s perfect for both of us sitting on the bed and whenever she needs help, I’m right there.
  • Bible Story Books: Mara considers it a special treat to read Bible stories and sing songs together. So I keep those by the bed too. We are flying through the book right now, because we have so much time for reading right now!
  • Charts: Mara practices ABCs (letters and sounds) every day. We usually do Bible stories and charts for the first 20 – 30 minutes of Micah’s nap; then Mara goes down for her nap too. She loves doing “charts.” One day I heard her say, “Daddy! Maybe today I can teach you charts!” and she did. He said she got almost all the letters right, except she sometimes mixes up “U,” “V,” and “W.” Daniel would tease her and say, “‘A’ says ‘Buh-Bear’,” and of course Mara would correct him with the right sounds. 🙂
  • Stickers/Coloring
  • Many, many other books: Reading is probably Mara’s favorite pastime!
  • Brain Quest for ages 2-3: I was given Deck 3 by a freecycler. I wish I had the next level (Brain Quest for Threes), because Mara whips right through this one, and I think she will get bored with it after a couple times through it. But she enjoys answering the questions and she has learned several things going through it. We use it as a springboard to discuss new concepts (like beavers, building a campfire, or different kinds of insects).
  • Girly Stuff: Once a day Mara gets a squirt of body spray (Bath & Body Works’ Black Raspberry Vanilla), and we lotion our hands and put on chapstick. Mara loves girly stuff!

In just a few short weeks (weeks, not days, right??) Mara’s little sister will be born, and we will not have nearly so much time to spend together. So when Mara says, “Can we do fun things together?” I treasure those times!

And if any readers have ideas of “fun things” a 19-month-old boy would enjoy doing while Mom’s on bedrest, I’m all ears! I would love to spend more one-on-one time with him too before this baby comes. 🙂

So, tonight, after I turned out Mara’s light, I said, “Nite-nite, sweetie. I had fun with you today.”

Mara said, “Thank you for playing CandyLand with me! It’s fun doing lots of things when you’re on bedrest.” 

That made my day.

I Saw His Hands Today

Posted on by Becky

Friday was such an encouraging day for me!

My mother-in-law came over to watch the children around 8:30 and she ended up staying all day. She is super-busy with piano teaching and her other jobs, so it meant a lot to me that she gave so much of her time for us today. She always says that she wants to do it (and I know she does!), but I also know what a sacrifice it can be to give your time when the schedule is very full.

In addition to feeding, playing with and reading to the children, my mother-in-law cleaned up the kitchen, did our laundry, made a chicken-and-pasta casserole for dinner with the leftover chicken we had, vacuumed the dog hair off the basement steps, and completely washed the kids’ high chair and booster seat (which any mom knows can become filthy really fast when you’re not wiping them down all the time!).

Another friend, Jessica, had offered to come over and help with cleaning in the afternoon. Jessica and I aren’t super-close–in fact, she’s never been to our house before–so I’ll admit feeling a little awkward having someone I didn’t know all that well over and asking them to clean my bathroom!

My mother-in-law suggested I give her a list of things that need to be done, and tell her she could just pick which things she would like to do or prefer to do, and let her know whatever she chooses is fine.

So I made my list:

Jessica was here from 12:30 – 3:00, and WOW, she was a hard worker! I don’t know if you can tell by looking at this picture, but every single item is checked off the list! She was amazing! I really had no expectations of the entire list being completed. I thought if she gets the bathroom cleaned, or a couple floors swept and mopped, that would be great. But what a surprise!

I can’t tell you how exciting it was to have all clean laundry. Or to look under the piano bench and see freshly-mopped hardwoods, rather than dog hair. To have a clean bathtub for the kids’ Saturday baths! To look out the living room window from my bedrest couch, and see–not the window with its fingerprints and Micah’s tongue-prints from his hours of snow-watching–but instead to look merely through the window and see the blue sky and this morning’s fresh snow blanketing the houses across the street!

One of the biggest challenges on bedrest is to be content with just the basics getting done–childcare, food, laundry–knowing all the while, that when it’s all over, you’ll be picking up all the pieces yourself, while you adjust to a new baby.

I have two reasons for posting this today:

First, I’m so grateful to Christ for His body of believers that surrounds us in our times of need. For people who are the “hands of Christ” to someone (me) who can’t even clean her house or do her own laundry–even though, trust me, I would prefer to do it myself! 🙂 Thank you, God! and thank you, family and friends!

Second, I just want to encourage any readers out there: Do you know someone on bedrest? or for that matter, anyone needing help for a variety of reasons (maybe an older person, maybe someone recovering from surgery, maybe a mom whose husband is deployed overseas, or someone caring for a family member in the hospital)? Don’t underestimate the blessing you can be, by offering to bring a meal, do a load of laundry, wash the bathtub, or wipe a window clean.

Childhood Family Photo

Posted on by Becky

Did I mention that my family will all be together for Thanksgiving next week (for about 5 hours, first time in over a year)?  Can you tell I’m excited?

We’re enjoying visiting with my brother and sister-in-law from South Carolina–although my SIL is taking the Certified Financial Planner exam today and tomorrow, so she has been studying like crazy since they arrived on Wednesday . . . Well, as best as you can study, with an almost 3-year-old and a 17-month-old underfoot!

I haven’t had a lot of time for blogging this week. But my dad just sent me several pictures from my childhood. (Yay for pictures!) So I thought I could include one of my family, when we (my sister & I) were roughly the ages of Mara and Micah. My sister was the red-head. But she was also the younger sibling that copied everything her older sister did. (Kind of like Micah, with Mara!) My Dad said each picture in this sequence had my sister Mary looking at me, instead of the camera. . .

So after that gigantic intro . . . Here’s my family, back in the early 80’s, before my little brother came along.

Early80sFamilyPicture

I just think my dad looks so handsome and my mom is as beautiful as ever. 🙂

(When did she find time to curl her hair, with two little toddlers?!)

Can’t wait to see you!!

And then, today, I framed a picture my parents sent from October ’08, the last time we were all together.

Oct2008Family

Micah actually enjoyed looking at it. And he seemed to understand that it was a picture of Mommy, Daddy, Mara, & Micah, and Uncle Jon & Aunt Missy. . . I told him who all the other people are, so he will know when they come.

And when Mara came down from her nap, she picked up the frame, gasped and said, “What a re-mark-able picture!” She must have heard that somewhere, because I doubt she thought it up on her own. . . silly girl!

Halloween Costumes

Posted on by Becky

Around this time of year, moms are talking about costumes and how to find what you’re looking for and still save money.

During my first three years as a mom, I have taken a different route every year as far as finding costumes, but I try to strike the balance of finding costumes I really like–while not spending a ton of money. Here are a few options I have tried:

Make your own! The first year Mara was only ten months old. I really wanted her to have a soft, baby-girl costume–I didn’t really want her to be a funky animal or some sort of hotdog with mustard, you know? And the pumpkin idea is cute, but since she had no hair, we were constantly answering the “he?-or-a-she?” question about our baby girl, and I didn’t want to look back at pumpkin baby pictures some 20 years later and say ‘was this our son or our daughter?’

PBKflowerLargeI found the perfect costume in Pottery Barn Kids magazine (I included the PBK picture here)! Naturally it was $59 before tax and shipping & handling. (How is it that I have such impeccable yet unaffordable taste?!) I’m sure some people pay that much for a Halloween costume, but for us it was not an option. I don’t pay that much for my own clothes, let alone a costume a kid is going to wear once or twice!

Still I loved that costume so much that, after seeing it, no other costume seemed to even compare. Friends would find me “flower” costumes other places. None of them were quite right. So I decided to make it myself.

Maras1stHalloweenIn the end, I spent more than I’d hoped (probably close to $20) because I had to buy several kinds of fabrics (3 kinds of fleece and lining fabric for the hood), a zipper, velcro, elastic, gingham trim, thread, and embroidery floss for the flower designs on the sleeves and the bottom of the costume. If sewing were a more regular activity in my life, I’m sure I would have had most of the supplies (other than fabric) on hand. But I was very happy with the end result.

It wasn’t the Pottery Barn costume, but I felt my daughter was beautiful in the flower I had created.

LilStinkers1Buy on Clearance after Halloween for Next Halloween! The second year I actually found the costumes on clearance in February. They were skunk costumes–of all things–but they were 99 cents each, at The Children’s Place. I was pregnant at the time, and didn’t know yet if Micah would be a girl or a boy, but I figured it would work either way. The kids could be the “Lil’ Stinkers.”After all, the experience of having two kids 17 months apart is better reflected in the ‘lil stinkers’ idea than a beautiful flower in a garden!

LilStinkers2dsc09194My husband was mortified that I would do this to our children (I said they were still young enough that it was cute!), but it was with great reluctance that he joined the Lil’ Stinkers and me for Boo at the Zoo. (And, no, my daughter isn’t running from the camera–she’s chasing geese at the zoo–and I’m showing off the back of the 99-cent costume!)

I figured it showed that we didn’t take ourselves too seriously. I mean, come on! Is there any costume that is really “classy”? Is it classy to be a monkey? or a pirate? or a skeleton? or a witch? These are costumes!

With moving twice, being on bedrest, and having a preemie in the NICU, there was no time for sewing costumes of my choice that year. I would make the same decision again in a heartbeat. Plus their costumes cost $1.98 total! You could hardly even make something at home that inexpensively–or find it at a thrift store or a consignment sale. I’m going to try to consign them next year for a dollar or maybe two and make my money back. Then I will feel fully vindicated on the whole skunk costume issue.

Buy Costumes on eBay a Month Ahead of Time. This year, my third year, I couldn’t decide for the longest time. I wanted my husband to be happy, so I decided to get the kids something a little nicer (which is not saying much since I spent only $1.98 the year before!). That’s another story, because when I told him, he said he thought all costumes were kind of tacky and pointless . . . which was my whole point last year . . . but . . . as I was saying . . .

OldNavyKittyI checked eBay for Old Navy costumes and found Mara the kitty costume (new with tags) for $3.50 + shipping. For Micah the lion costume (excellent used condition) for $5.99 + shipping. Total I spent less than $20. Each costume individually costs more than $20 if you buy them directly from Old Navy or Old Navy.com this year. (These costume pictures are just the pictures from eBay. Hopefully after this weekend, I will have some pictures of my kids in these costumes!)

OldNavylion2The trick with buying costumes on eBay is to start bidding in mid- to late-September or very very early October. There is usually a decent selection at that point, and if you’re willing to bid on several auctions (and lose), you will probably be able to find what you’re looking for at a reasonable price. (Those Pottery Barn costumes are always expensive though. I’ve seen sold-out PBK costumes go for $150+ on eBay during the middle of October, so if you know what you’re doing, there is probably some money to be made there!)

Now that we know our next baby is a girl, I already found her costume for next Halloween at The Children’s Place on clearance. It was $3.99 (not quite 99 cents).

It’s not a skunk.

But she will be so stinkin’ cute!!!

And Daddy will love it. 🙂

That’s all I’m saying about it now. (I have to save a little surprise for next year!)

Well, several options Work for Me as far as finding Halloween costumes and saving money . . . Find more Frugal Tips at Life as Mom.