Doing “Fun Things” With Mommy on Bedrest

Posted on by Becky

For Works for Me Wednesday, here are a few ideas from my current experience involving toddlers & bedrest (What a challenging combo, let me tell you!). I’ve listed some ideas that have worked with my three-year-old daughter–and a plea for help with my 19-month-old son! Please comment–for my sanity and his!

Having a three-year-old daughter with you when you’re on bedrest isn’t all that bad. (It’s the 19-month-old boy I struggle to keep entertained.)

My daughter is forever running into my bedroom, saying, “Mommy, can we do some fun things together?”

And by “fun things” she is referencing the stack of kids’ stuff next to my bed. In that stack I keep things Mara and I can do together while I lay in my bed. (Unfortunately, I have found nothing that Micah and I can do together to add to the stack.)

We have:

  • A feltboard: Aunt Darla gave Mara and Micah FeltTales Busy Day at the Farm Story Board for Christmas. This is a great toy for preschoolers! Mara calls it her “cardboard,” and every day she asks, “Can we play with the cardboard?” She pretends the kids are going apple picking; milking the cow (then feeding the cow its own milk out of the pail!); planting the garden; playing with the other farm animals . . . I think it would be a great “travel” toy too. We may bring it next summer when we drive to Florida for my sister’s wedding.
  • Candyland: I got this game at the thrift store for 99 cents, in great condition, and it was one of Mara’s Christmas presents too. She is just barely old enough to play this game. It took her awhile to understand that you have to take the top card off the pile (you can’t go through the pile and pick) and that your goal is getting to the Candy Castle–not drawing cards with candy on them, regardless of how far they set you back.
  • Memory: Another Christmas present Mara received, conveniently packaged as a hard plastic “book” that can be stored on a shelf. She does pretty well with this game. (I think all kids have to be reminded they can only turn over two cards on their turn, even if they suddenly remember where the match is.) I’m considering dividing the game in half until she’s a little older, because with 72 cards, the game takes a long time and she’s usually yawning halfway through. We have yet to complete an entire game.
  • Little Bear and Dress-up Clothes: She was given a little bear with three outfits: cheerleader, cowboy and angel. She loves dressing and undressing the bear, but she can’t do it all by herself, so it’s perfect for both of us sitting on the bed and whenever she needs help, I’m right there.
  • Bible Story Books: Mara considers it a special treat to read Bible stories and sing songs together. So I keep those by the bed too. We are flying through the book right now, because we have so much time for reading right now!
  • Charts: Mara practices ABCs (letters and sounds) every day. We usually do Bible stories and charts for the first 20 – 30 minutes of Micah’s nap; then Mara goes down for her nap too. She loves doing “charts.” One day I heard her say, “Daddy! Maybe today I can teach you charts!” and she did. He said she got almost all the letters right, except she sometimes mixes up “U,” “V,” and “W.” Daniel would tease her and say, “‘A’ says ‘Buh-Bear’,” and of course Mara would correct him with the right sounds. 🙂
  • Stickers/Coloring
  • Many, many other books: Reading is probably Mara’s favorite pastime!
  • Brain Quest for ages 2-3: I was given Deck 3 by a freecycler. I wish I had the next level (Brain Quest for Threes), because Mara whips right through this one, and I think she will get bored with it after a couple times through it. But she enjoys answering the questions and she has learned several things going through it. We use it as a springboard to discuss new concepts (like beavers, building a campfire, or different kinds of insects).
  • Girly Stuff: Once a day Mara gets a squirt of body spray (Bath & Body Works’ Black Raspberry Vanilla), and we lotion our hands and put on chapstick. Mara loves girly stuff!

In just a few short weeks (weeks, not days, right??) Mara’s little sister will be born, and we will not have nearly so much time to spend together. So when Mara says, “Can we do fun things together?” I treasure those times!

And if any readers have ideas of “fun things” a 19-month-old boy would enjoy doing while Mom’s on bedrest, I’m all ears! I would love to spend more one-on-one time with him too before this baby comes. 🙂

So, tonight, after I turned out Mara’s light, I said, “Nite-nite, sweetie. I had fun with you today.”

Mara said, “Thank you for playing CandyLand with me! It’s fun doing lots of things when you’re on bedrest.” 

That made my day.

Mara’s Manicure

Posted on by Becky

For weeks Mara has asked me to paint her fingernails. And for weeks I told her to wait until Christmas and we could do it for her birthday and Christmas.

I don’t mind doing her nails, but I’ve been super-busy since mid-November and trying to put off anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary during those few weeks. Besides, if we do her nails all the time, she’ll start to think she always needs to do her nails–and she is still only three. If we don’t do her nails all the time, it will be something special to her, something you can ask for on vacation or on your birthday or on Christmas. 🙂

So finally we did it. She was absolutely delighted!

Mara, waiting for nails to dry

Checking out the finished product

And showing them off

Sunday after Christmas, she came home from church with Daddy, saying, “I telled everyone at church and nursery that we painted my fingernails for Christmas!”

I’m sure she did.

My Due Date Buddy

Posted on by Becky

I have a good friend, Donna, who unfortunately lives in South Carolina while I live here. But she grew up about 45 minutes from here, and that is only the beginning of our similarities!

Donna and I were in college together. Started the same year. Sat out of college to work our second year. Returned to college the same year. Worked as RA’s together in our college dorm. While she was interior design and I was accounting/journalism, we bonded through our RA experiences. We graduated the same time. Went to the same church in South Carolina for about seven years after college. We were in each other’s weddings. In fact, in addition to being a bridesmaid, she also did my flowers–my wedding bouquet and the topper for our wedding cake! All that to say, she’s a dear, dear friend.

She knows a thing or two about preemies and bedrest as well. In 2003, her son was born premature (due to PPROM) at 31 weeks. He spent five weeks in the NICU, although today he is perfectly healthy, and you’d never guess! In 2006, she was on bedrest with her second pregnancy because of preterm labor. I was with her in the hospital when she went into active labor at 34 weeks (her husband, a pilot, was out of town). Somehow with medications, they held off her labor until exactly 37 weeks, when she delivered her second son full-term!

Here’s where our stories merge again. On baby #3, she is (like me) . . .

  • Having a girl this time
  • Having a lot of contractions, especially anytime she is going out shopping or on her feet for long periods of time
  • Spending a lot of time with the Maternal Fetal Medicine people
  • Having a lot of similar tests: like FFN (like me, still coming back negative so far) and ultrasounds monitoring the baby and her cervical changes
  • Rejoicing in similarities: our same-day ultrasounds a week ago Thursday, indicated weight estimates of 3 lbs. 13 ozs (my girl) and 3 lbs. 10 ozs. (her girl)
  • Puzzling over similarities (like awhile back, when both of our cervical lengths went up from 3.1 to 3.9! How weird and crazy is that?!)
  • Struggling with the same question of when to call the doctor when you have contractions all the time? and what is that illusive “something different” that they keep telling us we’re looking for?
  • And, craziest of all, she is due the same day I am! (Although neither of us have plans to actually deliver in March, we will both be happy if our girls wait until at least February.)

Unbelievable!

When we first discussed our pregnancies, I quipped, “We should have a race to see who can keep the baby inside the longest!”

She said, “Yes, but what would the prize be?”

I couldn’t believe she had to ask. Incredulous, I replied: “Being the mom without the NICU baby!!!!” But on further reflection, I thought, “That’s really unfair to the other mom, who honestly would have no way of keeping her baby out of the NICU.”

Unlike me, Donna is not on bedrest, which both of us consider absolutely miraculous, given her history with her previous two pregnancies. I fully expected her to “beat me” to bedrest! She also is not on progesterone or procardia this time, as she prefers more natural methods whenever possible. She is also (unlike me) hoping to deliver with a midwife, if all goes well.

Donna called me again Friday morning after her latest materal fetal medicine appointment.

I can’t explain how much I enjoy talking to her about our pregnancies.

Donna understands the difficulty of caring for toddlers and the struggles of maintaining a house while on bedrest. She did that with her second pregnancy. She understands the challenges and risks a NICU baby (and NICU parents) are facing. But she’s come through and she’s seen God’s grace in her own life and the life of her family. And she always points me back to Him. There’s no sense of pity or despair: it’s just where we’re at right now. Right now, there are very few people I can talk with that way!

It’s kind of like when I was studying for the CPA exam:

There were people who pitied me and said ‘oh I’ve heard how terrrrrrible that exam is! Good luck studying, and I hope you ever get your life back since no one people actually passes it the first time.’  (Oh the drama.)

Then there were people who had no clue what the exam was like, and would say things like ‘yeah, I’m thinking of starting a lemonade stand, so I’m studying too.’ Okay, no one actually said that, but my point is their comments told you they had absolutely no idea what was involved in becoming a CPA!

But when I talked to my peers (those taking the review course two nights a week from July – November, while working crazy hours starting out at the CPA firm, those spending most every weeknight and most of their weekends studying instead of hanging out with college friends), those were the people I could really talk to. Half of the conversations (that I had with everyone else) went unsaid, because I didn’t have to explain–we were in it together. And they understood.

So when Donna and I talk, we understand because we’ve both been there, and we both could potentially be facing many of the same circumstances all over again.

We share test results, and we don’t have to explain what the test is for or what the results mean, because we both have them. We compare notes from our appointments. We laugh over our husbands’ responses to everything going on. Together we are thankful for husbands that provide for us, care for us, jump right in to help whenever the contractions get more intense–and sometimes even protect us from ourselves (Donna’s husband told her a few weeks ago, ‘if the doctor doesn’t put you on bedrest, I will.’).

It’s always such an encouragement to talk to someone whose been there, and is walking much the same path right now, looking to God for His grace and strength each step of the way!

Next call: Monday morning, after my appointment. Can’t wait!

2009 In Pictures

Posted on by Becky

You Capture! this week features pictures of “2009 in review.” What fun!

Here are some highlights:

March: Fun in the Snow

Snow Buddies

Mara Loves Books!

Love Those Lashes!

Visiting Aunt Mary in Florida

4th of July

Late Summer: Rainy Day Fun

“My Backyard” at the Zoo

Ordinary Moments, and Yet So Precious

Fall Fun at the Park

I’m quite behind on pictures right now. Since Thanksgiving, I don’t really have any pictures ready to post. But I’m inspired now to get caught up!

I Saw His Hands Today

Posted on by Becky

Friday was such an encouraging day for me!

My mother-in-law came over to watch the children around 8:30 and she ended up staying all day. She is super-busy with piano teaching and her other jobs, so it meant a lot to me that she gave so much of her time for us today. She always says that she wants to do it (and I know she does!), but I also know what a sacrifice it can be to give your time when the schedule is very full.

In addition to feeding, playing with and reading to the children, my mother-in-law cleaned up the kitchen, did our laundry, made a chicken-and-pasta casserole for dinner with the leftover chicken we had, vacuumed the dog hair off the basement steps, and completely washed the kids’ high chair and booster seat (which any mom knows can become filthy really fast when you’re not wiping them down all the time!).

Another friend, Jessica, had offered to come over and help with cleaning in the afternoon. Jessica and I aren’t super-close–in fact, she’s never been to our house before–so I’ll admit feeling a little awkward having someone I didn’t know all that well over and asking them to clean my bathroom!

My mother-in-law suggested I give her a list of things that need to be done, and tell her she could just pick which things she would like to do or prefer to do, and let her know whatever she chooses is fine.

So I made my list:

Jessica was here from 12:30 – 3:00, and WOW, she was a hard worker! I don’t know if you can tell by looking at this picture, but every single item is checked off the list! She was amazing! I really had no expectations of the entire list being completed. I thought if she gets the bathroom cleaned, or a couple floors swept and mopped, that would be great. But what a surprise!

I can’t tell you how exciting it was to have all clean laundry. Or to look under the piano bench and see freshly-mopped hardwoods, rather than dog hair. To have a clean bathtub for the kids’ Saturday baths! To look out the living room window from my bedrest couch, and see–not the window with its fingerprints and Micah’s tongue-prints from his hours of snow-watching–but instead to look merely through the window and see the blue sky and this morning’s fresh snow blanketing the houses across the street!

One of the biggest challenges on bedrest is to be content with just the basics getting done–childcare, food, laundry–knowing all the while, that when it’s all over, you’ll be picking up all the pieces yourself, while you adjust to a new baby.

I have two reasons for posting this today:

First, I’m so grateful to Christ for His body of believers that surrounds us in our times of need. For people who are the “hands of Christ” to someone (me) who can’t even clean her house or do her own laundry–even though, trust me, I would prefer to do it myself! 🙂 Thank you, God! and thank you, family and friends!

Second, I just want to encourage any readers out there: Do you know someone on bedrest? or for that matter, anyone needing help for a variety of reasons (maybe an older person, maybe someone recovering from surgery, maybe a mom whose husband is deployed overseas, or someone caring for a family member in the hospital)? Don’t underestimate the blessing you can be, by offering to bring a meal, do a load of laundry, wash the bathtub, or wipe a window clean.